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Are you always this stupid or are you making a special effort today Brains aren't everything. In fact in your case they're nothing Don't let you mind wander - it's far too small to be let out on its own He always finds himself lost in thought - it's an unfamiliar territory He doesn't know the meaning of the word "fear" - but then again he doesn't know the meaning of most words I don't know what makes you so dumb He does the work of three men: Larry, Curly & Moe As confused as a fart in a perfume factor Trying to explain something to him is like trying to give a fish a bath If she went to a mind reader they wouldn't bother charging He has one of those mighty minds -- mighty empty. If your I.Q ever reaches 10 ...sell! If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M. She could shade two midgets at high noon She's got tits like a spaniel's ears When she doesn't wear a bra it looks like two bulldogs fighting in a sack She's got nipples like tax discs She's so ugly that she fakes orgasms when she masturbates She's so ugly that if her face was her fortune she would get a tax rebate She's so ugly that if she walked into a cornfield the crows would bring back the corn they stole last year He's a real Don Juan with the ladies... the ladies Don Juan to have anything to do with him! Do you know what would make you look really good? DISTANCE His teeth are so yellow, when he smiles traffic slows down! She has early American features....like a buffalo! You look like Pat Boon's brother....Baboon! You look like Tina Turners sister...Stomach Turner! You look like Bob Hopes brother...No hope! You're so ugly the tide wouldn't even take you out! Insults for the Ho's She's had more pricks than a second hand dartboard She's kissed so many sailors her lips move in and out with the tide They call her radio station because she is so easy to pick up Insults for the boring She's about as interesting as yesterdays shit About as interesting as watching a scab form It's not so much as a barrel of laughs, as a vat of vomit Insults for the Unwelcome As welcome as a turd in a swimming pool As welcome as a tampon at an orgy As welcome as a reggae band at a Ku Klux Klan convention There's a bus leaving in 10 minutes! be under it! Miscellaneous Insults He's so mean that the only way to get a drink out of him is to stick two fingers down his throat She needs the rough end of a pineapple shoved up her ass Hey buddy that's a nice shirt, what brand is it? Clearance? He believes in a balanced diet -- a beer in each hand He's money mad... he's never had any money, and that makes him mad. No one can call him a quitter - he's always been fired from every job he's had!